The Stigma Behind Motherhood

I am going to be a mother. 

At 23 almost 24, I am being welcomed into a new chapter in my life. An anxious-inducing yet exciting chapter of the unknown.

Honestly, I never imagined myself to be a mother at this age but the more I sit with the idea of the gray area. It becomes a place of joy and excitement. 

During this process of acceptance, I've noticed a lot about my surroundings and the people close to me, besides intense nausea and smelling sensitivity.

The stigma of single mothers is still prevalent.  

I can't count how many times I've had people verbally doubt my strength of being a mother. Some even suggested abortion to be the primary solution to my situation. 

To me, it's mind-boggling how people don't find it insensitive to throw abortion into someone's face without realizing how traumatic it can be and even discouraging.

Although, it's painful to hear it. It somehow gives me the strength to defend myself and the decision I have taken. 

It's been a heavy few weeks but slowly I'm regaining the strength to understand who I am again amongst the commentary others give me. 

This morning, I listened to Bishop TD Jake's sermon on "Believing". 

He made a few points on understanding ourselves in the private to be fully capable of disregarding all the lies others tell us when we are in the public. 

The story of Moses was referenced as an example. 

Moses in the public eye was deemed incapable of being a prophet due to his speech impediment and his traumatic childhood. All the neglect from his birth parents and his confusing identity as a Gypsy and born Hebrew brewed deep insecurity. 

Despite all these factors, Moses was called for something bigger and he parted the Red Sea. 

He did it by believing in himself in private to reflect that confidence in public when the hardship and mission presented to him. 

The 1-hour and 30 min sermon resonated with the confusion and pain I am currently facing as a mother-to-be. 

To me, the public is claiming I won't be able to mother a child while working on my career goals and aspirations. 

Although, I know I have the power within me to do. I just have to believe myself fully because I don't. All these comments are weighing heavy on me so I haven't had the full strength to believe in myself.